36th Annual

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What are the Golden Dildeaux Awards?

The Golden Gate Guards proudly announce the 36th annual Golden Dildeaux Awards!  These humorous awards are intended to poke fun at various sexual activities while at the same time provide a unique charity fund raising opportunity.  The Golden Dildeaux Awards were originally started by Mister Marcus in 1972.  After the founding of the Golden Gate Guards in 1986, Mister Marcus asked whether the Guards would be interested to continue the tradition of the awards as a fund raising activity for the AIDS Emergency Fund.  The GGG are excited to present to you the 36th annual Golden Dildeaux Awards.  We hope that you will join in the fun and make sure your nominees receive a Golden Dildeaux at this year's "Woody Award Celebration".

How do the Golden Dildeaux Awards work?

There are 20 fun (embarassing), sexy, and campy award categories:

1. King of the Hill Award (the TOP of them all)
2. Hostess of the Mostess (gets fucked by everyone)
3. Golden Globes Award (the ass that just won't quit)
4. Constant Gardener Award (loves sex outdoors)
5. Golden Glove Award (power-fisting top)
6. Wash & Wear Wedding Dress Award (365 husbands a year)
7. The Spy Who Loved Me Award (likes to watch)
8. Luscious Lips Award (glory-hole cocksucker)
9. Brasso Silver Polish Award (you're not getting older,
   you're getting bitter ..eh.. better :-)
10. Dusty Muffin Award (hasn't had sex in a long time)
11. Club Sandwich Award (best performance in a 3-way)
12. Divine Miss Pee Award (golden shower queen)
13. The Old Switcheroo Award (which end is up?)
14. Divine Miss M Award (likes it rough)
15. Super-Size It Award (needs it huge... really HUGE)
16. Deep Throat Award (swallows it ALL the way)
17. Dick Of Death Award (too BIG for words)
18. She Who Must Be Obeyed Award (pushy bottom)
19. Shoe-Shine boy Award (filthy boot licker)
20. Golden Boy Award (best all-around sex)

Nomination Phase (February 15 through March 8, 2008)

During the nomination period (February 15th through March 8th) ballots will be available at various bay-area locations and on-line.  You can nominate anyone you wish (must be at least 21 years old) from the San Francisco Bay Area in any category.  And, best of all, to ensure your nominee becomes one of the final candidates, you can complete as many nomination ballots as you wish.  Nomination ballots are FREE!   Nominations for 2008 are CLOSED -- VOTING is now OPEN!

Voting Phase (March 8 through April 13, 2008)

When the nominating period is over, we will determine the top candidates for each category and ballots will be made available for voting.  The voting period is March 8th through April 13th.  Voting is how we raise money for the AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF).  Votes are $1 donation each.  You may cast as many votes as you want for each candidate.  If you vote for one candidate in each of the 20 categories, your ballot will cost $20.  If instead, you want to cast 5 votes each for one candidate in each of four categories, your ballot will also cost $20.  The total dollar amount of each ballot is up to your generosity.  Your donation is tax deductible.

Voting ballots are available on-line through Frantix so you can use your credit card.   The candidate in each category that receives the most votes, wins the Golden Dildeaux Award for that category.

On-line voting is NOW OPEN at Frantix!

The "Woody's" Awards Show (Saturday, April 19, 2008 at the SF Eagle Tavern)

The Golden Dildeaux Awards will be presented to all the deserving winners at a SinSEXual Awards Show on Saturday, April 19 at the SF Eagle Tavern from 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM.  Come see who has won the "prestigious award" in each category!  The event is always entertaining with lots of embarrassing fun! 

If you need more information, please send e-mail to this year's road captain, Jeff Minster (his e-mail is jeff AT ggguards.com ) or assistant road captain, Gerald Spotts (his e-mail is rover AT ggguards.com )

Net Proceeds from the 2008 Golden Dildeaux Awards go to the
AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF)

2007 Golden Dildeaux Award Winners

 Click here for the list of award winners in 2004, 2005, and 2006.